Sex -- one of the most taboo topics in American society. I,
however, would like to talk about why we should be talking more
about sex, especially as we get older. There seems to be this
misconception about age and sex, a 'use it or lose it'
misconception as well as the thought process that 'sex becomes
unimportant as you age'. The truth is sex is good for you. You
should continue to have sex for the same reason you should continue
to exercise -- it's about taking care of yourself.
Health Benefits
- Studies have shown lower blood pressure and overall stress
reduction in those having sex on a consistent basis (once or twice
a week).
- Higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA,
which protects you from getting colds and other infections, has
also been found in those with an active sex life.
- Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not
sound like much, but if you think of it over a year's time, 52
weeks could burn over 4,420 calories -- enough to lose a pound or
two.
- Men having sex twice or more a week reduce their risk of a
fatal heart attack by half, compared with those who have sex less
than once a month. Stop worrying about the efforts expended during
sex leading to a stroke, because it's just not so.
- According to numerous studies, sex boosts self-esteem. Sex
often produces feelings of love and connectedness with the other
person which raises your self-esteem -- even if you already possess
a fair amount of confidence.
- Having sex and orgasms produces what is often called the love
hormone - oxytocin. A higher level of oxytocin increases the
feeling of generosity, bonding and trust building. As oxytocin
surges, endorphins amplify, pain declines and sleep quality
improves. Thus, sex reduces pain, improves intimacy and promotes
better sleep.
- Various studies have shown a link between frequent
ejaculations, 21 or more a month, and the reduced risk of prostate
cancer in older men.
- For women, doing a few Kegel exercises during sex not only
increases the pleasure, it also minimizes the risk of incontinence
later in life. It's simple enough; just tighten the muscles of your
pelvic floor, as if you're trying to stop the flow of urine, count
to three and release.
Finding What Works For You
As we age our physiology changes. We need to throw out the idea
that sex equals intercourse. Intercourse should never be the goal.
If it's not working for you or if it is uncomfortable, try
something different. There are a wide range of sexual enjoyments
that people practice. Don't be afraid to explore options outside of
intercourse -- you might even find you like other practices
better.
Communication
Our inability to talk about sex is often our own worst enemy,
leading to more sexual dysfunction. Realizing we are not the only
ones considering being sexual is a huge first step. Whether it is
to your partner, a friend or a therapist, opening up about your
insecurities, likes and dislikes, and safety concerns will
ultimately propel you to a healthier frame of mind. Remember, most
people aren't mind readers and bottling up your emotions is never a
good idea. Don't be embarrassed or afraid to talk about sex --
you'll feel a lot better getting your thoughts off your chest.
The bottom line -- aging isn't a disease. Sex is something
you've most likely enjoyed with great passion and enthusiasm in the
past. Aging doesn't mean that enjoyment has to end; it should
remain until your last twinkle. If you've lost your fire, find some
matches. If you feel you're broken, seek help to fix it. Make your
life as full as you can and that includes your sex life. I
seriously doubt you'll regret it.
Carrie Robertson
Research & Community Education
Chicago Skilled Nursing
Chicago Senior
Living