Although more and more seniors are choosing to remain in their
homes longer, there are a few situations which make that option
less possible. When a dementia diagnosis enters the picture, it can
become difficult and unsafe to live independently. Once a move to a
dementia care community is made, it can be challenging to stay
connected and involved in a loved one's daily life and care.
Finding meaningful ways to maintain your relationship can be
extremely beneficial to both of your lives, but is often difficult
to know the best way to do so.
This issue and many others are addressed in a recent publication
released by The Greater Illinois Chapter of the Alzheimer's
Association called, "Encouraging Comfort Care: A Guide for Families
of People with Dementia Living in Care Facilities." This
publication is informative and easy to read, providing practical
suggestions of how to actively participate in the lives of loved
ones living with dementia in a community setting. The publication
covers issues such as the importance of establishing powers of
attorney, awareness of medication and treatment options, hospice
issues, and many others, including what you should look for in a
high quality care facility.
I feel that one of the most important parts of this publication
is the section devoted to creating meaningful and enjoyable visits
with your loved one. So many times, family members and friends are
at a loss as to what to do or say when memories fail, but it is
important for both parties to continue to forge a relationship --
if not develop a new one, based on the idea that they are still
"very much alive, although quite changed." The authors suggest that
the best ways to connect with your loved one may be through his or
her five senses. Some ideas for visits are:
- Sing familiar songs
- Introduce favorite smells from the past: perfumes, flowers,
familiar foods
- Massage hands or feet with body lotion
- Go outside to enjoy the air and sunshine
A creative idea they suggest is to create a "Comfort Care Kit"
which holds your loved one's favorite things that can be used by
you, other visitors, and staff members to stimulate the senses and
bring enjoyment to your loved one.
Although it can feel intimidating and maybe even evoke feelings
of guilt when visiting a loved one in a dementia care community, it
can also be extremely rewarding. The son of two current residents
at The Hartwell recently told our staff that although the decision
to move his parents was a difficult one, "it is good to see [his]
father smiling and [his] mother enthused about something…A dramatic
contrast from when [he] drove up and brought them in." Having the
relief that his parents are safe allows him the opportunity to
reinforce his relationships with them through meaningful visits,
which focus on their happiness and comfort.
I encourage you to read the full publication, which you can find
here.
Karoline Hutson (khutson@cmsschicago.org)
Chicago Senior Living
Assisted Living
in Chicago